I’m just gonna jump in and piss a lot of women off right from the start. You see the title of this blog, “Trying to Have it Y’all”? You know it’s a play on words for trying to have it all. Yeah, that…that phrase right there. It is the biggest lie besides Santa Claus and that outfit doesn’t make your butt look big we have ever been told. I’m not really sure where this notion came from. I have theories – a great many of them – that I plan to share at a later date. But for now let’s just acknowledge this notion out there and that since the late 1960s we have been fed a steady diet of we can be anything we want to be and accomplish anything we want to accomplish and be great at it if we just put our minds to it and work hard enough. And while that is a nice idea and is somewhat true, it’s not exactly true. It’s a half truth. This belief of having it all didn’t come into focus as a myth for me until I simultaneously had a career, got married and had a kid. When that trifecta happened the curtain fell and I saw the professor working the machine to create the all powerful Oz. That realization felt like someone had hit me in the face with a brick. I was shook. It contradicted everything I had been told since… well since as far back as I could remember. It was at that time that I had to make real choices about the career I worked so hard to create, the quality of life I wanted for me and my family and peace of mind for myself. It has been nearly 13 years since I left the workforce and it’s I decision I second guess regularly. Make no mistake I work but I don’t get paid for what I do. That will be another post. I could literally write a dissertation on this topic and still not exhaust it. The good news is I’m not the only person who believes that this having it all business is a myth. A lady by the name of Anne-Marie Slaughter wrote a piece in 2012 for the Atlantic Magazine entitled “Why Women Still Can’t Have It All.” Feel free to check it out.
But, do you wanta know the most ironic thing about all this? Well, there are two ironies actually.
- NO ONE can have all.
- Even though we know in our heart of hearts that we can’t have it all, we ALL still try.
This blog is me trying to have it all. Or, at least a small semblance of having it all. We’ll see how it works out.