I was having a rough day. Between the recent mass shooting in South Texas and two different posts on Facebook made by two different friends, I was super down in the dumps. But, like everyone else, you just have to keep on going. So there I was wallowing in my sadness, running errands, standing in a 10 person deep line at the post office, when I feel someone encroach on my personal space. I didn’t turn around. I was about number 7 in a line of about 10 people and I hate confrontation. I didn’t want to create a disturbance when I still had this long to wait but then I notice the worker guy behind the postal counter staring. I mean like glaring a hole into my face staring. Well, I knew he wasn’t staring at me, so I casually look over my left shoulder and I see this.
The great Louis Armstrong, Satchmo, staring me back in the face. I think I may jumped or squealed – I can’t be sure. I manage to get ahold of myself and slowly turn back around. My inner monolog is working overtime. Who the hell buys a giant singing Louis Armstrong Doll? I think to myself (no, not a wonderful world) maybe this line will miraculously vanish and I will get away from this doll but I can feel the heat of the body or of the doll behind me. Of course, curiosity got the best of me. So, I slowly pivot to try to glimpse the encroacher. And there holding Louis is none other than the old witch lady from the movie, Brave. I shit you not. The lady looks to be about 95. She’s got this craggy ass hair, she is shorter than me which is amazing since I’m five foot nothing and she weighs about 90 pounds. She’s holding this crazy doll that’s as big as she is on her left hip and she’s dragging a roll around suitcase with her right hand. Oh yeah, and she is standing so close to me she can probably tell you when I last took a shower.
So again, I slowly turn back around but this time I make eye contact with the worker guy behind the counter. Both of our eyes are about to bug out of our collective heads and we cannot keep a straight face. All this time here I am looking for that hidden camera cause this shit is too weird to be real. Then I remember, hey my new blog, so I start digging in my purse for my phone so I can take a picture. Wouldn’t you know by the time I got my phone discreetly positioned to where I could snap a picture on the sly, the old lady turned the box around to where you couldn’t see the creepy face. Oh well, at least I got this grainy picture of the box. Of course, when I got home I googled the hell out of it and came across the first picture. Yep, just as creepy as when I saw it live and in person.
Y’all this is the stuff of nightmares. I swear I don’t know how I’m gonna sleep tonight. What did I tell y’all – I notice weird everywhere. It follows me.