Teaching a Pig to Sing

There are many variations on the phrase, “It’s like trying to teach a pig to sing. It’s just annoys both you and the pig.”  When you cook it down, the phrase just means what you are attempting is pointless. I don’t know if it’s my age or the people around me but lately, I have lost count of the number of times I have hit the delete/backspace button or have nearly bit my tongue in half trying to keep from trying to teach that ole pig to sing.

I literally was just with two instances, both with family members, where I had to restrain myself.  Both of these people are highly opinionated and in complete denial and/or have completely unrealistic views on certain things.  In the past, I have tried to reason with both of them.  I’ve offered different opinions and different ways of looking at things.  I’ve played the devil’s advocate but I think I am done with that.  You know the whole ‘you can’t change a person’ or better yet ‘you can’t fix stupid’, yeah, I think there are certain people you just can’t reason with.  The older I get the more I realize there are just some people I’m not going to be able to talk to.  In the case of Facebook, you will be hidden.  In the case of face to face or phone calls, I will avoid you like Walmart on old folks home day.  No, I’m not being rude.  I’m trying to keep myself from cussing you out and calling you a dumbass.  So, I guess I will keep hitting that delete button and the ignore button on the phone.  I know some shrink out there will probably say this is avoidance. You bet your sweet ass it is. I don’t like conflict. I avoid it when I can. Will I have to suck it up and answer the phone or an email eventually?  Yeah, I will and I will try my best to be kind and not cuss but I think I’m going to cut it short the next time I feel the need to argue with these types of people.  After all, it is like trying to teach a pig to sing; we both end up getting annoyed.

P.S. –  Another thing that has me highly annoyed is Chili’s new fajita commercial. I know, I know, petty first world problems.  But seriously, it’s annoying AF. {Whispers – For the old crowd, AF stands for “As F$ck”.} No, I’m not talking about the jingle, although that can make you want to hurt someone.  The real thing that fires me up is that 48% more meat thing.  Seriously, 48%? Just call it 50 or nearly 50 or almost 50.  Forty-Eight percent more meat just makes Chili’s sounds like cheapasses.  What like you can’t afford that extra 2%?  What marketing guru did you hire to come up with 48%?  Go hire the Subaru marketing crew.  I have never wanted a Subaru in my life but those commercials make me want to go out and get one yesterday. Honestly, 48%. I got 48% more hatred for y’all. And let’s get real, who eats fajitas at Chili’s anyway? Oh, I’m sorry. I was having an I’ve lived in Texas too long moment. Not everyone has access to good fajitas. Bless your heart.

P.P.S. – Maybe this whole post needs an ‘I’m Sorry’ balloon.


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