As a Mom to school-aged kids, I often measure time by what event or holiday I have to prepare for next. In recent years, many of the schools and districts we’ve attended no longer celebrate the same holidays I celebrated in school. Halloween and Thanksgiving parties have morphed into Fall, Harvest or Thankful parties. Christmas is now Winter. Valentines is now Friendship. The political correctness irks me but to be honest I don’t really care. The end game for me is still the same; I have to come up with 22-25 cupcakes, juice boxes, or some random nutfree, non gmo, non gender specific do-dad. While all the rules about what I’m to bring burns my buttons, I accept that it’s just part of my job description as a parent with school aged children. What I don’t accept is made up holidays and celebrations that require more work than the norm; most recently and specifically, the 100th Day of School.
If you’re like me you’ve completely forgotten about the 100th Day of School. It’s late January, you’re finally shaking off the post-holiday blahs and finding your groove for the new year and then it happens; someone on the school message board or neighborhood Facebook group mentions it. It’s usually the same person who regularly wants to know who can make 6 dozen iced cookies by tomorrow at 6pm but doesn’t charge an arm and a leg. In other words, she’s a slack ass just like you but she also an over-achiever that is willing and able to pay to make herself appear to have it together. About two seconds later you get an email from the school saying you have 48 hours to come up with something fabulous to help commemorate 100 days of learning. Oh and this project may or may not be tied to a grade and it may or may not mean your kid will be excluded from some extra free time or party if you don’t participate. At this juncture, you’re scrambling. While you don’t want to look like a slack ass, you don’t want to put too much effort into it either. You feel like Jennifer Anniston’s character in Office Space. You only want to use the minimum amount of flair and when confronted about your lack flair, you just want to flip someone off. Your kids have some awesome ideas for the project. It involves multiple $50 trips to the craft store. That’s not going to happen.
So what do you do? If you’re anything like me you come up with something similar to what you see pictured above. It’s super last minute and constructed with whatever you can find laying around the house. It screams completely over this shit. Your kids are a little pissed at your lack of creativity. Meanwhile, you’re humming “We’re Not Going to Take It” and thinking be glad I didn’t send you to school with 100 Amazon boxes left over from Christmas shopping or 100 random receipts taped to a piece of cardboard. Can I get an amen?