Well, I’ve made a command decision, despite all the lovely fodder it gives me for this blog, I just cannot take another minute of these new moms on my mom’s message board. (Insert record scratch sound effect here.) Before I go any further, this is not me being the Mommy Police or a Mommy Shammer. Honey, you do you and screw what others think. No shame here. If you raise a kid and they don’t end up in jail, on the streets or dead you did a good job. Now back to the matter at hand. It is exactly that phrase that I just typed, “you do you and screw what others think” that has led me to this exodus from the message board. These poor ladies have no idea how to think for themselves. In the 9 years since I last had a baby or toddler, it is like women are so inundated with information that they cannot think and research for themselves without asking 2,000 complete strangers their opinions.
Initially, I thought I was just over overreacting about the level of ridiculousness these new moms are putting out there but then I decided to really pay attention for one day. I read everything these ladies posted for one random day. Lord have mercy, let me name a few. What type of sunscreen should I put on my 2 year old? Did you keep them inside for the past two years?! Can I take a 3 year old to the night showing of the touring production of Lion King? Will my child need earmuffs/plugs for the fireworks demonstration on Independence Day? And, don’t even get me started about some of the other non-kid-centric things they ask about. After that one day of truly paying attention, I’ve decided this ‘gotta ask everyone and their momma their opinion on everything’ is either generational or it’s the old mom vs new mom thing. Or, gasp, maybe it’s both.
I’m going to go with new mom vs old mom theory for now. The reason I say this is because I remember asking more experienced moms about big things like feeding schedules and potty training when I was a first time/young child mom but for most of it I figured it out on my own. I was certain one of my kids would go off to college with a pack of diapers under one arm and case of beer under the other. Thankfully, I had plenty of older moms reminding me that no child goes to college in diapers, to keep the faith, be consistent, and when the kid is ready it will happen. They were right. I still ask moms I trust about things, only now instead of when is my kid ever going to poop in a toilet it’s when should I let my kids date or did your kids get the HPV vaccine. The thing is I’ve always asked family and friends whose opinion I value about important things not random people on a message board. So, I don’t understand why these new moms aren’t asking their own friends and family? I know having a baby can be isolating but surely they have someone somewhere they can shoot a text message. I mean at this juncture I wouldn’t be surprised if they are asking Siri questions about child rearing. And, whatever happened to the tried and trusted What to Expect books? Those things were like my Bible until my kids there 2 or 3 years old and by then I figured they were still breathing and it would all be okay. Of course, I still hit issues outside of the books and a google search but that’s when mothers intuition usually kicked in. Are these message boards screwing with these ladies mother’s intuition? I don’t have the answer but I do know the next time I have a teen mom question I won’t be asking about it on that damn message board.
P.S. Y’all, I’m so excited. I have 48 followers and some aren’t even friends or family. Holy freakin’ shitballs. Forty eight people might actually want to read what I wrote at some juncture in their week. Now, let me be a greedy ass. Can we get it to 50? It’s such a nice round number. Even if we can’t get it up to 50, I’m thankful and grateful for all 48 of you.
Photo Credit: Some picture I lifted off the internet. No copyright infringement intended. Blood/turnip. You know the drill. I’m broke and I do this for free.