Do you remember your first celebrity crush? Mine was Erik Estrada. He played Paunch on the 1970s cop show, CHiPS. I was four and completely obsessed. One time I threw an epic fit in the middle of a store over a poster of him. He was wearing a gold lamé speedo, a 1,000 watt smile and nothing else. The incident went down like this. I was scream-begging at the top of my lungs for said poster of a half-dressed man old enough to be my father while simultaneously ratting my mother out to the masses about her Elvis poster on her closet door. She was screaming back at me about how inaproriate it would be for me to have said poster. She would later drag me out of the store and give me the beating of a lifetime for acting like a dumbass in public. To this day I still say that beating was worth it even though I didn’t get my poster. I made my point, stood my ground and fought the good fight.
Fast forward 10 years and my walls are lined with Teen Beat pages. Can you guess who I had on my walls? Let me think. River Phoenix for sure. Kurt Cameron. Kieffer Sutherland even though he was old. Definitely Rob Lowe and Tom Cruise. Yeah, they were old too but they were hot. My 13-year-old girlfriends and I were just SO sure at some juncture we would move to L.A. and meet one of these dreamboats and they would magically fall in love with us. Ah, the delusions of youth.
Now, my girlfriends and I are well and truly middle-aged and to my knowledge, none of us ever met and fell in love with a teen heartthrob. Although, one girl did marry a guy that had a hit country song. Does that even count? But, I admit I still have a few celebrity crushes. No, I don’t have pictures on my wall. I may or may not have a Pintrest board labeled eye candy – you know for inspiration when times are hard. The funniest thing about being a grown up with a celebrity crush is who I fancy and my kid’s reactions to it. Just the other day we were watching Thor and I just blurted out, “Man, he’s pretty.” I was talking about Chris Hemsworth and it totally offended my kid’s sensibilities. “Don’t you love Daddy?” “Is Daddy not good enough for you,” they blurted. While I was highly amused by their level of loyalty to their Father, I was also struck by their abject horror at the idea of their mother having any sort of feelings for someone other than their Dad. You could just see the wheels turning in their heads. How can this be they seemed to be asking themselves. And, while the muscle-bound yumminess of Chris Hemsworth is very nice, I also love the everyman like Tom Hanks. Speaking of Tom, he is a true grown-up crush in every sense of the word. He’s not someone you want to ‘be with’ (insert eyebrow wag here). He is the kind of guy you want to have coffee with or walk on a beach holding hands with. This is no illicit roll in the sheets. No, sir. This is normal everyday stuff. It’s funny what flips your switch in your middle age.
So, dear readers, how many of you have celebrity crushes? Who was your first crush? Do your kids know? Are they horrified? I hope so. It’s kind of fun to shock the kids. I try to shock mine every chance I get. However, it will probably come back to bite me in the form of my kids ratting me out in public but it probably won’t be over a guy in a gold lamé speedo.
Photo Credit: Just some picture I lifted off the internet in a google search. No copyright infringement intended. I get no money off of this. I’m doing it for free. Blood/Turnip you know the drill. I’m just sorry I couldn’t find a picture of him in a gold lamé speedo.