So I’m listening to a podcast. Imagine that, since that’s all I seem to talk about here lately, am I right? Anyway, listening to a podcast, and the guy talking is saying something about how even the ugliest men can get a hot girl if he’s got a modicum of success and money. It doesn’t matter what he looks like. He can be bald, fat, and hit every branch when he fell out of the ugly tree and still snag a reasonably decent looking lady. If you’re anything like me the minute you read that last sentence you pull a face and start vehemently opposing that opinion either in your head or just shouting at your screen – which incidentally is what would I do. But then, as I was denying his theory, I started to listen to the rest of what he had to say. The cliffs notes version was a woman will do anything to make themselves attractive and desirable to the opposite sex but men don’t. We lose weight, get plastic surgery, dye our hair, do our makeup, buy new clothes, spend our last cent and last ounce of energy to make ourselves over and yet men won’t do the same. And, the worst part of all is, women don’t seem to want to hold men to that same standard. We just sort of shrug and accept them warts and all. The guy just kinda laughed and said, “men have it good”.
At that moment I started to get mad. Why is this all on us? Why don’t men feel like they have to do all the things? Now, before I get the ‘men are entitled’ comment, I’m going to shut that down. I don’t accept that – not for one second. I think this is something way more fundamental and hardwired. Since the dawn of time women have been preening, plucking and adorning themselves to attract attention and look good. And, that desire to look better starts young. I remember as early as elementary school feeling somehow less than when I started noticing the tall girls with long legs and blond hair got more attention than girls like me who happen be short, stumpy and have dark hair. The worst part of it all is it never stops. I’m not out to snag a man anymore. Even if I was single I would no longer give a shit because that is just me but I hate looking my age. It’s sort of a matter of pride. And, maybe that’s the root of this whole thing – pride. I’ve always looked younger than my years but here lately not so much. I’m over 40 and I totally look my age. I’d say in the last 10 years time has caught up with me and it’s all around my eyes. I look tired all the time. The dermatologist assures me it’s normal even with the preventative measures I’ve taken. Time marches on – usually straight across our faces. So, the dermatologist is suggesting fillers and that’s all fine and dandy but damn there are about 500 things I’d rather spend $500 on than a syringe of filler. Why do we care so much? And, to what point and purpose? When do you throw our hands up and say, ‘well I’m old and there’s not much more I can do about it”? I mean, we get old and eventually look old. Don’t believe me? Go to a nursing home. Yeah, there are some well preserved old bitties up in there but no one looks 25 unless they happen to be a 25 year old staff person.
I wish we didn’t put so much emphasis on looks. Wouldn’t it be nice if we all said no more makeup, fillers, filters, just we are what we are take it or leave it? I wonder what our world would look like? What would be the draw if looks were no longer a factor? Would it be our winning personalities? Our intelligence? We would have to find a way to segregate ourselves and elevate certain groups over others. We, as humans, can’t help ourselves. But, isn’t it ironic in the animal kingdom it’s the men doing all the things instead of the women. Male birds have the prettiest feathers. Bugs, lizards and frogs make noise to attract the women. Many male animals show feats of strength and fight to win over females. But, since breaking out into song and fighting are sort of socially unacceptable, we have to rely on other things. Well doesn’t that suck? I guess I better go look for deals on false eyelashes and fillers on Groupon.