How many times have you exaggerated while telling a story? Even if you personally haven’t we’ve all heard the old “the fish was this big” stories. Most of us smile and nod because we know that fish was not that big but it’s good for the story and to that end it’s fine and good. But, there is one thing I cannot stand, using exaggeration to guilt me or otherwise play on my sympathies. Twice in the past 7 or so days I have heard stories that made me want to give two people writeoffs with one of Delores Umbridge’s I must not tell lies quills. If you’re a Harry Potter fan you’ll know what I mean. If not, look it up. It’s great punishment and frankly, these two liars need it.
The first offender is Greta Thunberg. I have no real problem with her protests or her being a climate activist. If that is how she wants to spend her time, more power to her as long as she’s truly educating herself before she shoots off her mouth in protest. In fact, I think more kids need to be aware of politics and social issues and less with selfies and Snapchat. Gone are the days of 6 p.m. national and world news on every tv, reading the newspaper, and expecting everyone to know current events but I digress. The problem I have with Greta is a line from her September 23rd speech to the UN. She said, “You have stolen my dreams and my childhood with your empty words.” Really? I’m pretty sure the 5 year old bobbin winders and errand runners of the Industrial Revolution would disagree with her. For that matter, my own Grandmother would disagree with her. Born in rural Alabama in 1925, my Grandmother was the last of 8 children. She dropped out of school after the 5th grade to help work her parents’ sharecropper land. I’m pretty sure picking cotton from sun up to sun down is a childhood stolen not climate change. Does Greta Thunberg have anything important to say? Possibly. Actually, probably but I would rather hear from a scientist instead of an overexaggerating child. I can’t take her seriously after that ridiculous line.
The next offender is Donald Trump. Yes, I know I can probably just stop right there. But, a few days ago I saw where he tweeted that this impeachment thing was “The greatest witch hunt in the history of our country.” I was literally screaming at my phone. Hey dumbass, I’m pretty sure those so called witches they burned in Salem in the 1600s would have a little something to say about that. I mean they were actually burned at the stake while he is just enduring some inflammatory speech. Boo Fucking Hoo! They said mean words about me. Get over it. Even if impeachment happens, so what? He’s acting like this is the worst thing ever. Pretty sure death is worse. Again, this sort of behavior makes it hard to take anything he says seriously. (Whispers – Not like I ever did in the first place.)
So, dear reader, if any of you know where I can get one of those I must not tell lies quills I would be most grateful.