Irony, Musing

January Sucks

appointment black calendar countdownSo, this article about why next Monday, January 21st will be the worst, popped up in my news feed today.  Hand to heaven, I rolled my eyes and screamed at my screen, “I talked about this last year people!” The proof is here.  I’m over here like ‘where were you last year and why did you pay this clown to write this article when I practically said the same thing for free. You coulda paid me instead, idiots.

But seriously, isn’t January the worst? Ugh.  And, is it just me or does this whole government shut down and recent mega snowstorm that did not come near me only make it all worse? Forget free government provided birth control pills can we all just get some mood enhancement pills and maybe something that will help us shed that holiday 15?  Am I truly asking for too much?  I don’t think so. Remember back in the 80s, Equal sent those little gumballs made out of Equal to every address in America?  The feds could do the same thing. Just send a few happy pills to every address and boom maybe people wouldn’t be a bunch of miserable cows.

P.S.  If you’re thinking ‘damn, she phoned this post in’ you aren’t wrong.  January sucks and I’m trying really hard but damn if it doesn’t still suck. This opportunity sort of presented itself and I latched on.

 

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Holidays, Musing

Holiday Traditions

IMG_2266Happy New Year!  It’s been a crazy couple of weeks but I’m back.  Much like you dear reader, I have been busier than the best whore in the whore house on two for one night and twice as scattered.  But, before I take down the tree and start looking toward Mardi Gras I want to talk about traditions.  I love holiday traditions. I love hearing what friends and other cultures do to celebrate their most sacred times of the year. I love the Christmas traditions my family of four has cultivated over the years.  I love reminiscing about the traditions from my childhood.

I didn’t carry over that many traditions from my childhood. Driving around looking at lights and reading the about the first Christmas on Christmas Eve night was really the only must do’s I had growing up that I have carried over to my own family.  We didn’t make cookies for Santa; we put out whatever we happened to have. We didn’t go visit the big guy at the mall.  We didn’t go to church on Christmas Eve or Morning.  We didn’t have a special breakfast.  And, we sure as hell didn’t have some crazy elf.  (Whispers – Y’all know I hate that damn elf.)  But, I still feel like we totally seized the holiday every year.

This year was weird for our family.  We traveled about 800 miles to see family and enjoy some time in the mountains.  We left before Christmas proper so that meant fewer decorations were put up, we opened gifts early, and we generally did not know the day or date for 10 or 12 days.  This was the first year in at least 7 years that we didn’t have tamales on Christmas Eve night or Chinese on Christmas Day night.  But, we were able to see family we hadn’t seen in a couple of years.  We were able to celebrate Christmas Eve Mass at the same church where my hubs and I were married. And, we were able to show the kids a part of the country they’ve never seen.  I realized that even though we weren’t able to have our normal traditions I still felt the Christmas spirit. We still had fun and we still had each other. Who knows, maybe traveling on Christmas will be our new tradition.

So, dear reader, what are your traditions? Comment on here or if you’re reading this via the Facebook link, comment there. I love hearing what people do. I once had a sister in law who’s family was of Scandinavian descent. They had some weird fruit based cold soup on Christmas night. I wish I had gotten the recipe before she left the family. It sounded kind of gross but who knows, it could be fun to try.

P.S. – Guess what y’all?  As of the last post (Christmas Zen), I have done 100 posts! It’s like 100 Days of School only way better because you don’t have to do some stupid craft that requires 8,000 trips to Michael’s or Hobby Lobby. Actually, it’s more like 100 episodes of a tv show only without a cake and a party.

P.P.S/Photo Credit – You never know what you’ll see when you are doing a road trip in the South. I took this picture myself while sitting at a stop light in B.F.E. I can’t even remember the state.

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Holidays, Musing, Uncategorized

Christmas Zen

silhouette of man at daytime

About this time every year, I totally lose track of everything – and I do mean everything.  I forget the day, the date, what I purchased for everyone, where I hid the stocking stuffers, what I’ve committed to bringing to the potluck dinner, and the list goes on and on. At this juncture, the meticulous lists I make to keep myself organized have long since been forgotten.  If I am with it and taking meds for my ADHD they too have been forgotten. Quite simply, I’m hanging on to the knot at the end of the rope with my fingernails.  The funny thing is any other time this type of chaos would usually put me into a panic attack of epic proportions but not this year.

I’d like to say the reason for this new found zen is some sort of meditation, yoga or pills but it’s not. I wouldn’t even say that my give a damn is busted. When it comes right down to it, I guess I just don’t care. Before you ask, no I am not depressed even though with each passing year I feel more and more like Charlie Brown. I think this feeling of zen is more a feeling that the stress doesn’t matter. It’s a feeling of there is nothing going on in my world that demands I worry about it that much. Life will work itself out.  It could also be that things seem to be going halfway right.  Ironically, that right there is what bothers me the most.  I know when the universe gives you the gift of zen it’s about to hit you right in the face with a big ole shit sandwich. That’s just the way life works.

Despite my zen, there is plenty of things to be annoyed about. For example, why does my youngest still want me to move that damn elf around even though I have a house of nonbelievers?  Why are so many people talking about how 30+ year old cartoons and songs are suddenly offensive yet homelessness and families without the ability to have a traditional holiday celebration are barely on those same people’s radar. And, why for the love of God aren’t people behaving themselves at school concerts.  You are not here to see Metalica.  Stop whooping and hollering like you are at a rock concert or rodeo.  No one needs to hear screams followed by, “WOOO HOOO GREAT JOB POOKIE.”  Pookie may have done a great job but all those other kids parents and family want to watch their kid in peace.  Holler at your own house, not at the school auditorium.  Damn people were you raised by wolves?

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Musing

Thoughts and Prayers

web3-high-five-vs-praying-hands-emoji-yayayoyo-shutterstockThoughts and Prayers.  It’s a phrase we’ve all said or heard at least once in our life.  Here lately it feels like I’m saying it a lot more.  I think it’s probably a function of my age group seeing as how I’m middle-aged.  In the last month, an aunt has died, a high school classmate lost her father, a college friend had cataract surgery, a cousin is fighting for her life in ICU with a myriad of issues and today we buried a former President of the United States.  In all those instances I have offered up hopes and prayers not only for the person but also for those directly affected.  And, yet, those words ‘thoughts and prayers’ sometimes feel so hollow and empty.

I mean honestly what are those thoughts and prayers actually going to do? I suppose they can offer a modicum of comfort to those in the thick of a situation and to myself. But, in reality, we have to muster up a goodly amount of faith to believe those prayers are actually going to work. We have to believe that those prayers will reach some diety’s ears and that said deity will find favor in our prayer and do the royalty thumbs up or down over the whole business. Having painted such a sacrilegious picture I will say I do believe in the power of prayer. I do have faith that in the diety and the whole thumbs up or thumbs down business.  And, still, it feels hollow.  I think it feels hollow because it’s intangible.

Humans don’t do well with intangible.  It’s a concept that’s hard to process. I know I have issues with it. (Whispers – I have issues with A LOT of stuff.) In trying to process those hard concepts I talk it through in my head and to borrow a line from Steel Magnolias, “Yes, Annelle, I pray.” So, I sit here thinking of my cousin, her family, the Bush family and of people I don’t even know that are struggling, HARD, right now.  This is supposed to be the most joyous time of the year.  We are in the middle of the Christmas and Hanukkah season but there seems to be an overwhelming blanket of sadness on most people. Everyone I know seems to be struggling.  It may be a petty struggle like a broken toilet or a big struggle like an ailing parent or not enough money to cover rent but they are struggling nonetheless.  Well, what are we to do?  I don’t know.  Tell those who are struggling you love them and give tangible help if you can but when all else fails I say thoughts and prayers.  Anyone else got a better idea?

P.S. I know this post was heavy. It was this or all the dumbassery surrounding Rudolph and Baby, it’s cold outside. I just wish somebody would come at with me Rudolph. They will need some thoughts and prayers when I’m done with them.

Photo Credit: Emoji lifted off the interwebs.  I have no idea who it belongs to just goggled praying hand emoji.  No copyright infringement intended. Don’t sue me. Blood/turnip. I do this for free and I’m broke.

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Holidays, Musing

Thanksgiving

img_1989Ahhh Thanksgiving.  A truly American holiday.  As Linus taught us in A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving, ours is the first country who set aside a day just to give thanks. That’s a pretty cool concept.  What’s even cooler is it’s the one day a year where it’s socially acceptable to eat one’s own weight in weird food, take a nap in front of the tv and then eat some more.

This past week I’ve seen a myriad of articles about how to keep the peace during Thanksgiving this year.  I don’t know what kind of family you’re from but there has never been any peace at my Thanksgiving dinner table and I doubt there will be this year. As a child, I can remember my mom and her siblings warring with each other. At a minimum, if there was no shouting then there was a lot of awkward silences followed by my Mother’s tirade in the car.  Since I met and married my husband Thanksgiving hasn’t nearly been the walking on eggshells affair of my childhood but it hasn’t been without its pitfalls. A broken finger, a near burn with hot oil, people who didn’t bring what they were supposed to or just plain didn’t show up; still, we managed rather well.  Last year I threw down the gauntlet and said no more of this crazy dinner half the family refuses to eat. No more kids taking three bites of turkey, two rolls and 10 deserts.  Instead, me, the hubs and both kids went to a desert canyon and hiked.  We trecked all over the west Texas high desert. We stayed in a hotel so we’d have a nice hot shower at the end of the day. It was lovely.  But what of your feast? We had turkey tv dinners and frozen chicken pot pies.  All of our extended family thought we were crazy but I thought it was the best Thanksgiving I ever had.  I was with those I love most enjoying nature. What more could I have asked for? And, let me tell you I was pretty damn thankful.

This year my hubs and kids went “home” for the holiday. They went ahead of me because I had to work. I will follow when I get off on Wednesday. It wasn’t the ideal situation but it was the best we could do. It has been strangely quiet since in the house by myself.  Our house is not typically quiet. It usually sounds like World War III is about to ensure.  And, while there are plenty of Thanksgivings I can remember from the distant and recent past were I would have happily eaten Xanax like M&M’s because so many people and things were tap dancing on my very last nerve, I don’t think it will be like that this year.  I’m looking forward to the noise and the weird food.  I’m almost looking forward to my kids eating three bites of turkey, two rolls and 10 deserts.  Most of all, I’m looking forward to seeing my hubs and kids and even the long drive home. Each of us have much to be thankful for even if it’s just Thankful for Xanax.

P.S. What is your favorite of the weird foods?  I adore Green Bean Casserole. You know, the one with the fried onions. And, as we call it down South, dressing. That would be stuffing but not made inside the bird. We just put ours in a casserole dish and bake it.

P.P.S. I’m with my kids on the 10 deserts. And, I have gotten to where I hate Black Friday. Maybe I’ll write my next blog about that.

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Musing

One Year

Holy hell y’all, I’ve been a blogger for a whole year as of today, November 2.  In my highly ADHD world, that’s a freaking miracle. I get bored easily. I stop, start, redirect and lose direction on every project I attempt. I cannot tell you how many diets, workout programs, books, craft projects, etc. I have started, stopped and eventually finish over the years. That is my one good trait in all this – I finish things.  Granted, it may take me a year to finish a half done project but I ALWAYS finish what I start.

I’m actually really glad this milestone came today as I don’t really have an interesting topic for this week.  I’m still desperately trying to stay away from politics. Although, that is getting harder and harder. I had a few really good bits of inspiration strike this past week but I forgot to write them down. So, that means they are as good as gone, never to return again. Again, good ole ADHD strikes again.  For those who think I am making fun of people with ADHD let me assure you I am “eat up with it” as the old saying goes.  I have some rather unhealthy coping mechanisms as well as some rather good ones and a prescription for medicine I never take because I don’t like how I feel when it wears off.  Lists are my friends and I write down or make notes on everything. Because of these lists, people seem to have the impression I am way more organized than I am and are always a little astounded when I drop the ball on something – or maybe it’s just my family that acts astounded when I drop the ball.

Finally, and completely unrelated because hey it’s ADHD on display here today – do you ever wonder if God is up there saying well they sure fucked up this time. I guess I’m gonna have to come down there sooner or later. Maybe it’s just me.  That is as close as I’m getting to politics right now.

P.S. I nearly forgot – Thank you, friends and complete strangers, for coming along with me on this pipe dream crazy ride for the last year. I promise to continue to voice my highly inappropriate opinionated thoughts and say y’all and hopefully, you’ll continue to read this drivel. Seriously, though, thank you.

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Musing, Random

Always Listening

I’m writing this post while standing in line waiting to vote because inspiration struck.  I am absolutely astounded at the number of people at the polls for early voting.  You’d think this was another presidential election.  It’s insane.  There must be at least 75 people in this line and it’s not even lunchtime.  The next bit of inspiration comes from the people waiting in line with me.  If there’s one thing I love to do in a crowd like this it’s people watch and eavesdrop.

I adore eavesdropping.  I’m pretty sure this passion started in my formative years being raised in a household full of adults and no other children. I was forever being told to “hush, the adults are talking” and “children are seen and not heard”. The only other thing to do when you can’t get a word in edgewise is to listen or watch the paint peel. The former is a lot more fun than the later. It’s interesting to hear what others have to say especially when they think no one is listening. I ALWAYS listen and there is plenty to be heard.

The biggest offenders are millennial aged women and old people. The next runners up are mothers of young children and middle aged men.  Those last two groups love to have conversations on the phone while standing in line or walking around the store.  I have actually heard one middle aged dude make some hanky panky plans for later while in the shampoo aisle at Target.  Nothing every shocks me but I’m always a little amazed at the types of conversations people will have in public.  I can’t quite understand their reasoning.  Do they think that just because they aren’t near someone they know that it’s safe to talk about all manner of personal issues like the neighbor’s cancer, your child’s bout with lice or your ailing parents’ incontinence issues?

I keep thinking to myself one day just for kicks I will call someone out for the very loud, personal conversation they are having in public. But, doesn’t that make me just as guilty for listening?  Ultimately I just keep my mouth shut.  I have to hand it to some of these people, they sure do provide a lot of inspiration for this blog and serve as a catalyst for thinking.  Maybe these dirty laundry airing folk are a gift from the universe.  The universe’s way of saying, “I know your life is shit but at least it’s not that bad. Listen to what those people are saying about that poor sap.”  I think I’ll just count my blessings.

P.S. –  If anyone is interested, today’s offenders were a couple of old ladies.  They were talking about all their friend’s ailments in great detail.  Dementia, hemorrhoids and heart disease.  You can’t make this stuff up people.

P.P.S. – If the government needs more people to listen in to conversations, I’m your girl. Just call me Alexa or Siri.  I’ll even respond to Hey Google.

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